closer than i was to you...

     so last night was good (photo below). brandon, logan, and i went to a masquerade party for the singles of an on-campus youth group. we got there and no one was wearing a mask, so ours came off fairly quickly (only logan was brave enough to wear his the entire night...that pic was taken in the safety of the liahona house). it was a great little party, and much better than the alternative. i really didn't want to go, actually, but brandon talked me into it. and i'm glad he did. we had a good time.

     [as a note on monday's protected post (i've already taken it down, so don't worry if you didn't read it): the situation has changed, but the stuff that matters has been worked out, as usual. it's now become an entirely different story, good and bad. an explanation later, perhaps.]

logan, me, and brandon

     i've never really understood confidence. being at the party last night made me start thinking about this (single's party/masquerade > dating/image & identity > some just have it > confidence). for me it's always seemed like a facade, a brave face you show to the world to "sell" yourself. not so much, though. it's definitely more a feeling of self-worth and identity. i can't say i've ever really had much of it, and i can be pretty hard on myself with most things. then this morning i was sitting in my early british literature class and we were talking about a symbol on sir gawain's shield and what it represented. one of these representations is what's known as the five sacred wounds of Christ. then it dawned on me...He died for me. it really doesn't matter what i think. He thought that i was worth it. yeah, it's not a new realization. not really very deep, either. but it made my day.

     a story is forming. we'll see what happens.

     later, taters. lots of work to do.

"it's all right. it's okay. i won't worry 'bout tomorrow, for it brings me one more day closer than i was to you."