for jacob...

        he'd be twenty-three today. it was four years ago and it's still as tough every time i think of him. i don't handle such things very well. i think the worst of it is that we lost touch toward the end, letting our paths go wherever they were going. he was a good friend. he introuced me to john wayne and mountain dew and wolfenstein. i'm not entirely sure why i'm blogging about it. this isn't a "rest in peace" type of thing, but i guess it's still good to remember those good times.

sunny days seem to hurt the most
i wear the pain like a heavy coat
i feel you everywhere i go
i see your smile, i see your face
i hear you laughing in the rain
i still can't believe you're gone

would you see the world, would you chase your dreams
settle down with a family
i wonder what would you name your babies
some days the sky's so blue
i feel like i can talk to you
i know it might sound crazy

it ain't fair you died too young
like a story that had just begun
but death tore the pages all away
God knows how i miss you
all the hell that i've been through
just knowing no one could take your place
sometimes i wonder who you'd be today.

                                        --kenny chesney's "who you'd be today"