it's no cause for concern...

       i'm supposed to be writing an article for a guy at church. he wanted me to write about the good and the bad of my experience at college. he was very emphatic that i write about the good and the bad. sat me down for twenty minutes last sunday night and gave me some writing tips--who i should write for, how i should write about the problems in society, etc. trying to be helpful. i don't know, though. i don't really want to be one of those people who points at a problem and goggles, saying, "oh, isn't that just terrible! someone should do something about that." when i read i don't want to hear about problems. i read for entertainment--sometimes to learn--but mostly to get away. if i learn something along the way or become aware of something that needs to be done, so be it. but i want to write about happy things, ultimately. some of my friends have criticized me that what i write is so depressing. even the "novel" i'm writing is kinda dark. but that's not the point. i think the happiest things are the points of light in the darkness. those are the most beautiful. the most touching. the most inspiring. i want to write about someone's struggle to reach that light. that's the stuff i like to read about--the stuff of hope.

       now if only i could remember where i left mine.

       i don't know. i don't mean to make people sad when they read my posts. haha. sorry, amanda. these have been difficult times. college, that is, i suppose. never quite agreed with me. right from the start i was squirming. ended up in three different places and it is taking me six years to get a four-year degree. if i ever become famous i'll tell you some stories about my college career because it will be okay to tell them then. i'll be able to look back and, from that safe distance, smile. because those years helped to make me who i am. we won't talk about what will happen if i'm not famous. i'm not prepared to think about that yet. no, really, i don't care much about fame. i want to be able to eat and pay the bills and go to a movie or a game every so often with friends. anything else is just extra. i just want to be happy. no amount of money can buy that. though i'm sure it couldn't hurt. my friends might like me then. haha.

       well, i'm going to bed. i'm tired and i have to get up to work tomorrow. thanks for the call, lewis. always good to talk to a fellow xangan.

       later.