taming mcfatty...

       so it's spring break. the house and the town are blissfully quiet, but along with the quiet comes the inevitable feeling of loneliness. i was stupid and let myself get lost in a daydream today, one of those wonderfully poisonous stories from never-will-happen-land. poisonous, yes, but only bad because it doesn't kill you -- just puts irresistibly beautiful ideas into your head that, as the name of the dream-land suggests, never will happen. instead you waste away in front of them. oh, rowling, you and your damn mirror. i know, i know: it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. funny that all i want to do is forget. in fact, after i'm through here i think i'll go read. haven't read hp in a while. oh, what now? ...bitch.

       went out on the mkt trail today. gorgeous weather: got up to 77 degrees, which is even on the warm side for my tastes, but i like it because there's inevitably more skin showing on the trail, and that's almost always a good thing in a college town. went 8 miles today and 8 on sunday. i hope to get out again on thursday to make it an even 24 for the week. i'll be home this weekend (might get a chance to go out on my old trail?! *fingers crossed*), but as of this moment i'm making it my goal to do 32 miles a week. maybe if i do that i'll eventually be one of those showing a little more skin. god, that's still only half of what i used to do my sophomore year and lord knows i have a lot of work before i'm even close to where i was then. about the weight of your average 2 to 3 year-old. yep. i need to lose a toddler. wow, that's depressing.

       trying to think of happy things to say. i had been writing, but i haven't since the weekend. i've been really tired lately, and i'm not sure why. couple weeks now. i don't sleep as much as i should, but i do sleep still, and my habits haven't changed any in the last couple weeks. but now i come home and just crash. i know what my mind feels like when it's ready to write and it just hasn't been there. too sluggish, barely adequate for rambling blogs. i tried caffeine. just makes me sluggish and unable to sleep, and i do that well enough on my own. oh, i do have a happy thing -- woke up this morning and hermes had himself all curled up in my arms, his head resting in my palm (i was on my side, which doesn't happen often). made me go "aww." see, i can't even focus. it's weird. i don't like it.

       hm. i think that's enough ramblyness for today. i need to snap out of this funk. i don't like it.