slipping into misanthropy...

       i'm developing a major crush on this guy at work. it's starting to be a distraction. jury's still out on his sexuality, but if my crush history is any indication then there's about an 80% chance that he either likes the ladies or hails from the planet raxacoricofallapatorius. mad props if you have any idea what i'm referring to there. i'm kind of in an anti-boys streak at the moment, though. not an anger thing, just a "do i really want to get into this again?" thing. i really don't. the ones that want me are always old and desperate (or married), the ones i date turn out to be exceptionally ordinary, and the ones i want are always hopelessly unattainable. probably something a shrink would find interesting.

       these stolen moments on my parents' computer are getting old. really ready for my own to get here, but that's still a good week and a half off. haven't written anything in too long, but, frightened of that as i was at first, i'm kind of enjoying the break. i was pushing myself too hard to produce something and i think the quality was suffering. so it's been nice to give my head a break, soak up some joss whedon and bbc, forget things a while. ironically, i did make a couple leaps, figured a couple things out. but, of course, more questions came up.

       i don't know, maybe it's the holidays. or maybe it's just more of the usual. kind of in a funk, but not a bad one. customers at work are getting more impatient and more bitchy, which has the rest of us overcompensating like mad. it's kind of a laugh to keep from crying thing. words that we thought were internal are more often slipping out. breaks are stretched and bathroom trips increase. tension has been slowly building at home. i miss certain people. a lot. starting to be more reclusive. and according to the scale at plasma this afternoon i've gained a couple pounds, and not the good kind. feeling tired, lazy. hm. just realized it might be that s.a.d. thing. that hasn't really affected me so much in the past, though. do any of you get that?

       what do you think of the whole tsa screening/patdown thing? i'm kind of enjoying the attempts to undermine it. i have a mildly anarchist streak in me. k, i need some mindless entertainment to slip into before bed.