the knowledge button...

       i think it's starting to qualify as "kicking a dead horse" by repeatedly timestamping that last post. ok, i only did it twice. tasty was kind enough to recommend it after i'd complained to him about it, but i got 33 views on it and i think it has gone as far as it can. it seems like such an arbitrary little question, but i was genuinely curious: if there were a button (we can even pretend that it's shiny and red) that when pushed would tell you beyond a doubt whether God exists or not, would you push it? i can't judge from only five comments, but i'm not surprised that each of them said yes, they'd push the button, and the unanimous reasoning (thus far) would have been the overwhelming curiosity, whether it changed their life or no. i think most people would answer the exact same way. my sincere thanks, by the way, to all who participated, but what i was really hoping was for someone to say no, they wouldn't push it. because i don't think i would. that was my instinctual reaction when i was first asked the question (probably a year ago now), and it remains thusly. to be honest, i'm not entirely sure why. don't get me wrong, i'm all about seeking out the truth. part of me really wants to know. but i think it's the part of me that values the journey over the destination that would refrain. it's like reading the last chapter of a book first (which is a terrible crime that should be punishable by the perpetrator being drawn and quartered -- oh, how i miss the old punishments). you do that and you miss out on all the fun -- all the fear and doubt and speculation, all the struggles to find the meaning of life -- indeed, many of the things that make us human. it's a very safe feeling to know where you're going, and as an introvert i normally cling to that very tightly, but it's so exciting to not. what do you think?