nonne macescis...

      tonight katy a. and i went to see "the da vinci code." the book was better, as always. it felt weird to watch it, not because it's always weird to see what was once in your imagination on a screen but because of what it was about. the film didn't quite capture it like the book did. not that i'm claiming to know what the book was about. but i took it as a prod to not just accept what you've been spoon-fed and to search things out for yourself. the scriptures even say that. it didn't quite come across that way in the movie. it's fiction, though, and as long as you can understand that i think you'll be fine. i think it's ridiculous that people would denounce their faith because of it. if their faith was that weak to begin with, it's no surprise people are reacting as they are. i don't know. i'm not going to recommend it, but neither am i going to tell you not to see it. i don't believe what they were talking about, but it was a good story.

      gave plasma today for the first time in about a year. that was interesting. took them forever to get me through--i was there over three hours. crazy. but the best part was when i sat on the donation bed and the first thing the phlebotomist says to me after she looked at my chart was "you know you've gained some weight since you were here last." gee, thanks. i have, though. not much, but i could still use a good run more often than not. it was a tough semester. but tomorrow morning i've decided to do my ten-miler and see how it treats me. not long ago (well, okay, two years ago) i was doing that five days a week. not running, or at least not all of it. but i do like to run as long as i can breathe while i'm doing it.

      so we're a week into summer and i'm already bored. it's interesting being alone with yourself because you begin to listen to all the babbling that goes on in your own head. quite frightening. i've been enjoying the nothing to do, but i need to find something to do, ya know? i'm not going to be getting many hours at work, so perhaps a new job. yesterday was the first i sat down to write anything. i didn't get much, as usual, but it was a start. i've been playing the piano quite a bit. i've gotten (how's that for grammar?) a bit rusty, but it's coming back slowly. i've also rediscovered the tv and dvd player and satellite remote. and of course i've renewed my library membership and have been reading quite a bit. but mostly i've been fairly useless. it's not a good feeling.

     i'm waiting for things to change. it's a frightening thing. but something needs to change. i need a miracle or some divine intervention. not some deus ex machina that i usually end up with. i need real change.