fashionably(?) late...
i seem to be something of a hunter/quester after all. i wonder if it's a thing hard wired into the y chromosome, but i'm finding myself in a funny situation where i'm asking... now what? go ahead, draw your conclusions. you probably won't be too far off. needless to say, it was a good weekend. the grail turned out to be not as shiny as i expected or, more appropriately, hoped, and i'm feeling somewhat deflated tonight, mostly upset with myself for hoping for impossible things. but i'm also crossing a few wires in my brain and all the emotions are getting confused, so maybe things will settle down shortly. yes, i'm being cryptic on purpose. my kc gay bar cherry was popped over the weekend, though. i had to laugh at myself because i found it strange that the place had multiple rooms, multiple bars, and every inch of it was packed (hehe). but it turned out to be simultaneously more and less intimidating than i expected. certainly more people than the columbia bars and a far greater variety, which was refreshing. kinda disappointed in the drag show, though. it seemed like more of an afterthought, tucked away in a corner with very little structure or attention. granted, i didn't see much of it, but it was obvious that it wasn't nearly the entertaining production that i came to know in como. but this was only one of the bars. we even took a cab, which, thinking about it now, was my first time ever riding in a taxi. that's kinda funny. it was all a good time, though. and about time.
today was the 24th, or yesterday was. for a long time it has been one of my favorite dates, simply on nerd principle, and you can see by my pulse that i still honored it, even if you have no idea what i'm talking about. it's always so wonderfully autumny, though, which you know is my favorite season, and then there's the whole, well, nerd part of it. i actually requested today off, in hopes of getting some writing in and of enjoying the day, but i didn't get much of that done. i think i'd rather blame it on the time of the month or being uber-exhausted from the weekend (i still had to work saturday morning after being out till 3, and since there was no way i could drive that night i had to get up at 7 to drive the hour back to my house to shower and change into my work clothes before driving the 45 minutes back to work -- have i mentioned that i hate living in the country?) than thinking about it too much, which is what i'll inevitably do if i keep rambling on.
i'm trying to make something right now, and i want it to be perfect. except i'm kinda giving up on it because i'm convinced that it won't be. sometimes i feel very silly and out of touch with what's going on around me, which isn't a good thing for someone who wants to be a writer. i hate not knowing how people will respond to things.
bed time. past bed time, actually. ninight.