go with the flo...

       so did anyone else see the rocky horror glee show tonight? definitely glad i dvr'd that one. raised my temperature a couple degrees. i definitely need to watch the original again.

       i got packages in the mail today! expecting a whole slew of them over the next few days. yeah, i've been bad about saving up for that new computer (as the screen flickers threateningly) and my car isn't selling, partly because i friggin' hate selling it. oh, no, i want to get rid of it. but the whole calling people back and answering questions and meeting with them thing. i'm going to try to bribe my dad to do it. anyway. the packages today were mostly a couple gift items for friends along with a few books that i'm excited about. the next few should contain pieces of my halloween costume, which, fingers crossed, will earn me that $100 gift card up for grabs at work. i'm going as flo from the progressive commercials. i really like progressive as a company (VERY gay friendly, great service, good insurance). i got my whole family to switch. really, i did. it's my first foray into drag, though, and i'm both nervous and excited. and i'm going all out, the costume complete with a wig and makeup and false eyelashes. i think i'm going to leave out the boobs, though. as my friend dan commented, she doesn't have much anyway. i'll just get a tighter shirt and let my own hang out. it's also the first time in a long time, and the second time ever, that i've dressed up for halloween. for that alone i'm excited. it's definitely one of my favorites.

       what are all of you doing for halloween?

       oy. bed time. for some reason i never have any time anymore.

watch party...

       i'm currently sitting in ellis library on the mu campus. i had lunch with a friend today and was nearby, so i thought i'd stop in and write a bit. and of course i had to get on xanga. i have a guest account that i can use for the rest of the week, but i've been so busy i'm not sure how much i'll be able to get out here. as much as i should be writing, i really need to be packing. ha. i have so much stuff left to do. and saturday's the big day. kinda crazy. and the research book that i've been needing is checked out and not due till september 9th, so looks like i'll have to find it in independence's kinda scrawny library system. if i'm still allowed in the building. haha. i don't know how many times i've been banned from that place because of overdue books. i think i'm good now, though. but this could be my last time to ellis, at least for a very long time. kinda sad. i used to live at this place.

       so tonight's the big glee season finale! i'm excited, especially because they're supposed to be singing "over the rainbow" and queen's "bohemian rhapsody." um. yeah. so. i have a small watch party thing going, but a few have backed out and several have given vague responses and it will probably end up being me on the couch with a bunch of food which, frankly, i'd probably be ok with. except it's been raining today and i probably won't get a chance to get out on the trail. i've gone 19 miles so far this week, ended up with 40 last week, so we're doing ok. i can afford to pig out a little. i'm making peanut butter chocolate chip cookies and i'm kinda making up the recipe so we'll see how it goes, but you can't really mess up peanut butter and chocolate. we've had this discussion before, i believe. it's just amazing.

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day thirteen. how do you think others view you?

       i really don't know. i get mixed vibes from everyone, but there are probably going to be as many different opinions as there are people who know me. i've had several women tell me how awesome they think i am because i'm interested in theater and cooking and i'm clean and am into music and write, but then they discover that i'm gay and suddenly they don't like me anymore. heh. and i know i can be a smart-ass, but i usually try to be such only to people with whom there is a mutual comfort with such behavior. i know i complain a lot about things that i can probably change if i work on it, and i do tend to get bogged down fairly often and throw pity parties, but there is a lot of work to be done there and i think it's perfectly acceptable to bitch and moan to a few friends by the by so long as i'm trying, and likewise i don't mind the good tongue lashing when i need it, though i may not say that i appreciate it at the time. i don't know what people think. i really don't think that they spend any significant time thinking about me, so i try not to worry about it too much, but sure, sometimes i still do. and i'm not sure that i would always want to know anyway. but i still very much value the opinions of my friends. i'll always value that. so i don't really mind what people think -- they're definitely entitled to think whatever they want -- but in general the one thing i would like people to see is hope for me. like, maybe he won't turn out to be such a waste of space after all. that'd be nice.

i can't know...

       so things got kinda crazy today. i was running some errands, getting things ready for visits from the family. my brother came last night, just to hang out. we'd been planning it for a while. then my dad was going to come today to help with some vehicle issues. drive belts and tensioners and other things that i don't know anything about. but then i got an email from the people who run my house. they had said before that they were going to wait to sell it until next summer, but surprise! it's sold. i have three weeks to get out. so remember that post about being nearly 27 and not going anywhere? now i can amend it and say "nearly 27 and not going anywhere and living with the parents." because that's what the cool people do. so my dad's bringing his truck instead and were going to start hauling things out.

       and i'm freaking out.

       but hey... i've been wanting to get out of columbia for a while. sure, it's a giant step backwards, but maybe it will be good for me. somehow.

       yeah, not helping.

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day three. your favorite television program.

       glee, at the moment. what, were you expecting something else? it's awesome.